Early this week, in navigating the treacherous floors that lead to my computer, I tripped over a Lyle, the Kindly Viking toy. This made me think of the delightful Veggie Tale take-off of Pirates of Penzance which in turn reminded me how long it had been since my last Gilbert & Sullivan fix. I rushed to the CD cabinet. Big mistake. Since Monday I’ve had “Major-General” stuck in my head.
(Sombody...please...get him out!)
Since I’m a little hazy on most of the lines that come after I’ve information vegetable, animal, and mineral... I was forced to make up my own lyrics as I went along. With sincerest apologies to W.S. Gilbert, I'm posting my version here. If you’re as hazy on the score as I am the lyrics, the best G & S site on the web is at http://math.boisestate.edu/GaS/pirates/web_op/operhome.html (Sorry, you'll have to cut-and-paste to get there; Blogger's web link isn't working for me this morning.) There you can read the operetta while listening to the music!
LDS WOMAN: THE MODERN MAJOR-GENERAL
I am the very pattern of a modern Major-General,
I’ve information vegetable, animal, and mineral;
I know the books of scripture, and I quote prophets historical,
From Abraham to Joseph Smith, in order chronological;
I’m very well acquainted, too, with Mormon lit that’s fictional,
I’ve read five dozen Whitney books from romance to fantastical;
About the Cub Scout program I am teeming with a lot o’ news;
With interesting facts about the banquet that is gold and blue.
I’m very good at critter care and tending kids without a fuss,
I cook, I clean, I Visit Teach; sometimes I write – miraculous!
In short, in matters quite mundane, relevant, and trivial,
I am the very model of a Mormon Major-General!